Disappoint

My brother and I were trolling New Orleans when a particular topic of conversation came up. A source of past commonality was revealed and after a pause, my brother utters,

“I’m not saying I’m disappointed…”

I stopped him right there by saying I knew he was or he wouldn’t have said that. Off the pedestal I came, which is all right with me.

It stuck me as funny how we handle other people’s sin and mistakes. I’ve said in the past that we have issues with compassion, but I’d add we have issues with forgiveness as well.

It’s not in us to forgive readily. We harbor grudges, we avoid, we allow other’s mistakes to prejudice us against them. I do this! I am that person. I admit it takes a large amount of Godly leading to prompt my heart to forgive when someone lets me down, betrays me, or disappoints me in some way. I find it easier to hold on to that because why let it go and give someone the chance to hurt me again?

Forgiveness is never for the direct benefit of the person being forgiven and always for the person doing the forgiving. As hard as it is to let things go and say you’re letting someone off the hook, the healing you receive is so much better.

Hurt doesn’t disappear overnight, but it fades. A clear heart gives a clear head.

I’m not implying my relationship with my brother is different because of something I’ve done, but things change and maybe that change is for the better.

We aren’t perfect. I. Am not. Perfect. I’m also not the kid I was when I was in high school. I’ve made mistakes and I need to be transparent about that for my own spiritual growth. It’s okay to admit that because I think revealing our feelings can help others grow spiritually as well.

It leads me into thoughts of repentance. It’s not a new thought in my life, but it’s one I always have to rediscover. One I’ll probably be talking about in this space.

As you can see, I’m more than just my travel experience. I’m here trying to figure things out.

To the journey ahead…

Nurse C signing out

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