I’m down to 8 more shifts and I’m ready to move to the next thing.
Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed by feelings of work fatigue. More accurately, I was wondering if maybe I should give up nursing all together. I’ve truthfully considered being a bartender or a travel agent because after 10 years this has stopped feeling good to me. 😣 I’ve been frustrated, irritated, anxious, and unhappy. I’ve also felt less than confident.
On the topic of confidence. I’ve always needed affirmation in order to feel sure in what I’m doing. A lack of it tends to be what breeds dissatisfaction in me and the need to leave whatever job I’m in. It’s not a matter of not being sure about what I’m doing, but internalizing even the smallest criticisms and letting them chip away at my confidence. Traveling has been amazing for my confidence in that experience has proven I know what I’m doing. I can transport what I’ve learned anywhere.
But there are some jobs that wear you down. Some that no matter what you do, you can’t do enough.
I realized my fatigue is both a combination of not enough breaks between assignments just to be, too many coworkers who are critical (in a classic example of nurses tearing down instead of building up), and the high mental requirements of my speciality.
I’m burnt out and that’s dangerous to my mental health. I can’t fix critical colleagues. Only thing fixing that is a completed assignment (soon). A full break may not be possible for a few months yet because I have a PRN job I have to go to between assignments. But… But I can find some mental focus to achieve renewal.
It’s impossible to not let everything get to you. The questioning of my practice, every difficult labor, every difficult family, every difficult shift change report, very snippy comment from a doctor. They dig deep and leave more marks. I go home and stew over it instead of shaking it off.
I have to remember my personal practice and stop letting every comment or mean colleague bother me. I’m not perfect and get it wrong sometimes. So I’ll work on staying humble, staying aware, staying calm, and staying in the game.
To remembering the joy of the job,
Travel on, road warrior.