The cost of resentment 

Adios, Plymouth! 

I’ve made my way home which means I’ve completed another assignment. This was one of my best assignments even with the usual crazy staffing situations we ran in to. And after how difficult I found my previous location, I needed somewhere welcoming. 

Quick plug: any licensed Mass travelers, look into Beth Israel Deaconess in Plymouth labor and delivery. In 10 years of nursing, they have the best providers I’ve ever worked with in my career. Nothing but respect and comradery amongst nurses/doctors/midwives. If I wasn’t such a rolling stone (and didn’t possess such an aversion to winter), I’d put down roots. I never felt like “the traveler”. My help was appreciated and that made me feel like an asset. I do plan to return AFTER winter because I think it’s a good place to work. 

There was a little bit of a shake up right as I was leaving. It made me think of things that happen in our lives that breed hard feelings. 

No relationship is perfect. Things irritate us about our loved ones and its hard to not let resentment build up. In a love relationship I can be feeling unappreciated or taken for granted or not listened to. In a working relationship it can be making decisions without regard for staff or a lack of team work or punishing the whole staff for the behavior of one employee. 

But looking broader, resentment can come when someone voices a hurt, concern, trauma and instead of responding with compassion or action you ignore, belittle, or downplay the pain by pointing to something that has little to do with what’s being brought up. Looking at some of the issues facing our country today, it’s evident we have a serious resentment problem that’s exploding into something dangerous. People who aren’t heard tend to react with anger, sadness, violence. Why keep trying when you simply disengage and shout your anger to the world? 

So what’s the answer to resentment? Aside from Jesus and a bat to the back of the head? 

Listening: always the first step. If someone keeps saying they want something or are hurting, don’t add your two cents! Open ears and shut your mouth. 

Checking in: ask how they are and care about their answer.  Don’t let what they say be about how you feel. Let me repeat. DO NOT LET WHAT THEY SAY BE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. If they are talking about issues in their life, your response should never be explaining how you feel about it or how it has an effect on you. 

No excuses or apologies, but action helps: we want better relationships. It’s easy to say it’s not your problem and they need to open their mouths or fix their lives or stop complaining. That doesn’t change anything. You’ve added more anger and resentment to an already tense situation. Instead be an advocate, counselor, teacher to others on their behalf. Be a champion. 

That makes change. Listening and hearing and acting make change. 

Where to next? I’m actually headed closer to home. I’ll be in Charleston, WV until the beginning of December. So I’ll be in WV for a while for those in the area. They are going through and medical records conversion which increases their need for staff. 

I’m nervous because I’ve not truly worked in the state in over 3 years. I’m not used to the people or the issues anymore. I’m also not sure how I’ll be received. I want to be liked and seen as someone there to help. How will things be? We’ll see soon enough!

Travel on, road warrior. 

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